I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize