Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
