i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize
