at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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