He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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