btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
