you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
