Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I touched a dick in church today
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
