just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize
