Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Randomize
