btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
