just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
pray to the hookup gods
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize