Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
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