bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
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It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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