I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Randomize
