i jhust puked up my retainher.
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
