This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Randomize
