I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Randomize
