The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
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