I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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