Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
