my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
