Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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