I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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