Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
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