You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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