Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
