I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Randomize
