Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
