I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
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