he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Brb crying the tears of my youth
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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