sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
whose parrot is this?
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
