do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Randomize