make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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