why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
