remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
