i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
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