I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize