So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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