I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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