apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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