I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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