she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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