Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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