When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I wish i was in the wii world.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
