Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I wish there were birth control emojis
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Randomize
