Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
