STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
the liver wants what the liver wants
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
