Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
i used baking grease as lip gloss
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
