If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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