I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
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