that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
