i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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