It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Randomize
