omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
