Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
i just google imaged poop.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
