and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Randomize
