Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
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I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
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after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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