Your tits are I can't wait for
I just threw up on my dentist
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
