Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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