Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I just want nice things and good sex
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
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