can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
