So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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