I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Randomize
