eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
You have to summon your inner elephant
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
