you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
